The HR F-Words (And Why They Matter)

Not long ago, I was talking with a client who wanted to discipline, or maybe even terminate, an employee because they felt the person was “not a good fit.” And it got me thinking… there are a few words that come up again and again in HR conversations that we really need to unpack.

They seem harmless, and even sound friendly, but they can be vague, overused, and even unintentionally harmful if we’re not careful. So, let’s talk about a few of the “HR F-Words” that deserve a second look.

Fit. "Not a good fit" can feel like a catch-all phrase, but the truth is, it doesn’t give us enough to work with. If someone isn’t thriving in a role or aligning with the culture, we owe it to them, and to ourselves, to be specific.

Instead of stopping at “fit,” ask yourself or your team: What part of our values or expectations isn’t lining up? This approach makes it easier to offer support, clarify expectations, and have an open, fair conversation, whether the outcome is coaching or a transition.

Let’s move beyond fit and concentrate on clarity, alignment, and shared values.

Family. We’ve all heard it: “We’re like a family here.” It’s meant to sound welcoming and close-knit, but families can also come with baggage, blurred boundaries, and unspoken expectations.

Rather than comparing your workplaces to families, let’s aim for something more inclusive and professional. Let’s say: “We treat people with kindness, respect, and care.” That sets the tone for healthy communication and accountability, without the emotional confusion that family dynamics can sometimes bring.

Fine. When someone says they’re “fine,” it’s worth pausing. Sometimes it does mean they’re okay, but sometimes it’s the default response when someone’s running on empty or doesn’t feel safe enough to share what’s really going on.

If you know someone’s been under pressure, and they tell you they’re “fine,” take a moment to check in with empathy. Say something like: “I know things have been intense lately, but how are you really doing?” Or offer small, meaningful support: a kind word, a lighter load, or even just a reminder to step outside and take a breath.

“Fine” isn’t always the full story—and noticing that is a quiet form of leadership.

Friend. Strong teams don’t require friendships, they require respect. Encouraging people to build connections is great, but there’s no need to force closeness or pretend every coworker needs to be best friends.

Let’s aim for a culture of collaboration, support, and mutual respect. If friendships happen organically, that’s a bonus, but what matters most is that people feel safe, valued, and heard.

A Few Good F-Words (Yes, They Exist)

Now let’s be fair, not all HR F-words are cringe-inducing. Some are cornerstones of a healthy, thriving workplace. Here are a few we actually like:

Flexibility. True flexibility empowers employees to bring their best selves to work—without micromanagement or burnout. It’s not about a lack of structure; it’s about building trust. Defined well, it creates space for people to work smarter, live better, and stay longer.

So, ask yourself, what kind of flexibility actually works for your team? Set expectations. Make it sustainable. And celebrate it when it’s done well.

Feedback. Yes, it’s sometimes uncomfortable, but feedback is really a gift (it’s true!). It’s how people grow. It’s how cultures evolve. And it's how trust is built across teams.

Make feedback regular, two-way, and rooted in respect. It doesn’t have to be perfect, just genuine.

Fairness. Fairness doesn’t mean treating everyone the same, it means treating people equally and equitably, based on context, need, and opportunity. The more we focus on fairness, the more inclusive and resilient our cultures become.

Make fairness not just an HR principle, but a team habit.

Fun. Yes, even fun belongs at work. Not forced fun, not mandatory-potlucks fun, but real fun. The kind that builds connection, trust, and lightens the load on tough days. Fun doesn’t mean professionalism goes out the window. It means we recognize that people are, well…people. And people work better when they feel joy and belonging.

Not all F-words are created equal. Some deserve to be rethought (we’re looking at you, fit and fine), but others deserve a spotlight. So, think about how you can go forward and lead with clarity, kindness, and yes, even a little fun.